Sunday, February 21, 2010

Why Publish a Rag? You ask WHY?

Yes, Brothers and Sisters, it's time- time to KICK OUT THE JAMS with a new, radical, revolutionary and raunchy ZINE!  No, not an "E-Zine" - this ain't no blog, vlog or twit... this is a real, turn your fingers black, pulpy paper product!  A newsprint tabloid, complete with slapdash layout, smudgy printing and inflammatory rhetoric!

Why a tabloid, you ask? Why an anachronistic throwback in this era in which we each have access to a veritable digital cornucopia of information?  Because, Dear Reader, THE TIME HAS COME! It is time to embrace the obsolete! Because, to paraphrase an old saw, "You had better be nice to the technologies you meet on the way UP the evolutionary ladder, because you are sure to meet them on the way DOWN...."

Need more reasons?  Try these on for size:

Can you fold a blog and shove it fashionably into your back pocket while waiting on line at a punk show, soup kitchen or welfare office?  NO!

Can you read a "Tweet" during take off and landing?  NO!

Can you line the cat box with and E-Zine?  NO!

Can you roll a website into a fuse for a Molotov cocktail?  NO!

Can you watch a youtube video after the utility company shuts off your power? MAYBE.... but probably NOT!

On the other hand...

Can you cut letters out of a tabloid to make a hard-to-trace ransom note?  YES!

Can you fold a tabloid into a hat?  YES!

Can you sit in the park, or on the train, or on the beach, or on the curb outside a punk rock club and read entertaining and thought-provoking articles in a tabloid without the use of an expensive and environmentally-unfriendly hazardous technology, and can you then turn to a complete stranger and offer them said tabloid as a gift, yes a FREE GIFT, impressing them so much with your hipness and earnest generosity that they seek you out later in the evening, strike up an in-depth conversation on the controversial and thought-provoking content of the aforementioned tabloid and eventually invite you back to their flat for guilt-free casual sex?  YES,  YES and YES!

These are but a few of the reasons to take part in the OBSOLETE Magazine revolution- Submit you rants, scribbles and revelations today!

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